Posted by: dlip | February 3, 2008

Criticism

Pitfalls on the road to recovery
After the stroke one is totally helpless and dependent on others, as a result of which:
a) one is bathed, one is fed, one’s bottom is cleaned, in other words – oral and rectal needs are taken care of.
b) One is transported from one place to another without moving a finger (no puns intended)
c) No one gives you any responsibility or accountability. In other words large comfort zones are created both at the physical and emotional level. These comfort zones are very easily slipped into by the individual. I’ve carved a phrase for this phenomenon and call it the “infant syndrome”. One must beware of slipping into this enchanted island of sirens. It’s like quick sand and difficult to escape from.
d) Expenses have a tendency for a meteoric rise on all fronts. Hospital bills, surgery, fees, medicines, therapy before, during and after are massive!! With individual medicines costing in the range of IRS*.3000/- to IRS.7000/-. One has to be ready with the funds to meet the exorbitant costs.
e) There are times when one looks down the tunnel and sees no light at the end, one feels like giving up, especially, since the tunnel/road is dotted with instances of humiliation, discomfort and helplessness.

At a time like this even small criticisms are received with a heightened sensitivity. During this time I faced some personal criticism. At the time this is how I felt:
“Some people express the opinion that I am being pampered because my poor sisters came to me in Manipal (in South India) from different parts – one from Bahrain and the other from Kolkata (Calcutta). They also seem to think that I am very lucky – and in most ways I am – insofar that I have a wife who takes such good care of me and caters to my every need. Good family ties are not a matter of luck, they are to be worked upon; they don’t just happen. Also I don’t think that giving help and assistance to a person incapable of doing anything for himself would come under the heading of being pampered. I would gladly give up all this in exchange for even a small degree of normalcy, and pampering be damned. A stroke is not a minor occurrence it alters the course of our lives.”
(*Indian Rupees)

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